If you’re considering a meditation retreat with me, here are some things that are helpful to know.
Deciding to embark on a prolonged period of silence alongside others who are doing the same, is a significant commitment to oneself, one’s practice, and one’s life. To fully take advantage of the experience it can be helpful to have a roadmap of what to anticipate and some tips from the road.
Letting Go of Expectations
The first step is cultivating a helpful mindset that will support you on retreat. When participating in any meditation retreat is to approach it with no expectations whatsoever and to receive whatever emerges with as much compassion as possible, whether it is an internal sensation, an interaction with someone else, or the surroundings. If you only have one instruction that you carry with you for the whole retreat let it be this: meet all arising experience with curiosity, compassionately noticing whatever arises without judgment and without needing to change it.
Use Wise Discernment
The Buddha often spoke about Ehipassiko, which generally translates as an invitation to “come and see for yourself.” Inherent in this is the understanding that we must be responsible adults who don’t just blindly follow teachers or teachings. Instead we are being encouraged to wisely discern for ourselves, through our own experience, what experiences in life are “life-affirming” and what experiences are “life-denying.” You are not being asked to believe anything on this retreat. You are 100% free to keep what works and leave what doesn’t.
Common Experiences
Each person’s experience will vary widely. This retreat is open to all levels of experience, so you will likely be amongst a wide spectrum from experienced meditators to those who are new to the practice. Even if you look around and everyone appears to be serenely at peace, this does not necessarily reflect their internal landscape. You may experience inner turmoil or challenging emotions or physical discomfort. You might even find yourself annoyed because the person next to you is breathing too loudly for your liking. It is helpful to remember that just like you, anyone who has signed up for a silent retreat is making a heartfelt commitment to their practice. No matter what you are experiencing, just know that you are not alone and that you are supported in a container that includes the sangha ( a community of dedicated practitioners ) and the natural healing power of silence.
Noble Silence
As they say, silence is golden. In our modern lives it is a rare and precious opportunity to have a structured space of silence where there is nothing that we need to do, figure out, or achieve. When you agree to participate in this practice of Noble Silence you are doing this not only for yourself, but for all the other participants as well.
It’s important to understand that it is not just about being quiet, but it is about bringing an intention of stillness and awareness to everything we encounter on retreat. The idea here is that we are trying to disengage the mind from its typical preoccupations so that we can get a bit more space to observe our mind and listen to our inner wisdom. This means that we also refrain from eye-contact with others and other polite behaviors, like holding the door for someone, saying ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes, etc. Which brings me to the list of things that I wish someone had told me before my first retreat about what noble silence includes.
- Be mindful about not engaging with others – no eye contact, no need to hold the door for someone behind you – stay in your internal experience
- Maintain verbal and physical silence – be aware of the noises you are making when you shift around in your seat. Be mindful of all sounds you create to avoid things like crinkling plastic water bottles, making mouth sounds, making noise with your clothing, etc. Strong scents are also “loud,” so please be mindful of this and refrain from strong perfumes, etc.
- Refrain from technology – for this 4 hour period keep your phone in airplane mode or in your car.
- Refrain from anything that stimulates the mind, like reading and writing
Once the retreat bell rings to start the retreat, you will remain in silence for the 4-hour duration. However, I will be speaking to offer practical instruction and to support you in deepening your connection to your own presence through sharing dharma teachings. There will be periods where I am speaking, periods when there is sitting in silence, and periods where you will be silently walking around the grounds.
Walking Meditation
When we do walking practice we are not walking to get anywhere or to make anything happen. We move slowly, noticing the sensations involved in each moment of walking. People often ask how slowly they should walk, the answer is that one should walk at the speed in which they can maintain mindful awareness. For most of us, this means walking extremely slowly. I will give more precise instructions about this at the retreat before our first walking session.
Schedule
We will alternate between periods of sitting and walking, typically in 30/45 minute intervals throughout the day. I will tell you at the end of each session what time the next session will begin.
What to Bring
There will be chairs available, however, if you prefer to sit on the floor, you could bring a cushion, meditation bench, zafu, towel, blankets, yoga mat, etc. Some people like to bring precious objects like crystals, small buddha statues, mala beads, to arrange in front of them. None of these things are necessary, you can always sit in a chair, but if you choose to bring them that is welcomed. Weather permitting we will be doing our walking meditation outside on the beautiful 300-acre property that includes a labyrinth and a peace garden. Please dress for the weather and if you tend to get cold, bring layers. There will be a refreshment room with water and fresh fruit available but you may wish to bring your own water bottle and snack. Please refrain from bringing disposable plastic water bottles as they can be quite loud.
Sobriety
Refrain from all intoxicants while on retreat, and ideally also in the 24-hour period before the retreat.
Dana
When I went on my first retreat I had no idea that when I was paying it only covered the basic cost of my attendance and did not compensate the teacher for the teaching. I was unfamiliar with the practice of Dana. I gathered from the empty envelope left on my cushion that it meant I was being asked to give a donation, but beyond that I was clueless. This is what I wish someone had told me before I arrived: Dana (pronounced “daa-nuh”) is a Pali word meaning giving. Dana is the traditional practice of generosity, the extending of one’s goodwill, which is fundamental to Buddhism and other spiritual traditions. Gil Fronsdal says, “Dana is not meant to be obligatory or done reluctantly. Rather, dana should be performed when the giver is “delighted before, during, and after giving.”At its most basic level, dana in the Buddhist tradition means giving freely without expecting anything in return. The act of giving is purely out of compassion or goodwill, or the desire for someone else’s well-being.” The teacher is offering dana through giving the teachings. They are extending their goodwill to you.” So we are being asked to step into a cycle of giving and reciprocity – to pay forward that which we have received. It can sometimes be easy to become confused when we are new to this and to wonder “how much should I give?” This is a relevant question in the material transactional economy, but an appropriate dana cannot be prescribed. It is a deeply personal practice that we engage with which asks us to see beyond the transactional view that we encounter in our lives and to tap into the generosity in our hearts. Dana should not be something that creates burden and hardship. It is a practice of giving straight from our hearts that which we are able to give freely and with delight.
